I guess I should probably update LJ-land on some things that have been going on in my life. I haven't posted about these things, and this way you can all be brought up to speed.

In late November/early December, Carrie and I started "dating" again. While I was off on my two-week "sabbatical" to Burbank/Denver/Minneapolis, I had a lot of time to ponder things. One of the things that I realized was that I really belonged with Carrie, and that she was a pretty wonderful person (her love of Full House notwithstanding). When I got back, Carrie and I started having some pretty in-depth discussions on the subject. Just in time for my birthday, she was my girlfriend again.

Things are going really great. We're getting along awesomely, and I feel super good about the whole thing. In fact, we're going to get an apartment together in May (her lease is up March 31, and mine is April 30, but she's going to see if her landlord will extend her an extra month).

This is a good thing.

(There was a reason I was posting this, but I forget what it is now)

By the way - Carrie reads my journal, so please keep in mind that she'll see any comments you make, okay?

Tags: carrie, dating, moving
Current Mood: hopeful

Please note - those of you who are involved in a relationship and out of the "dating scene", please answer these questions based upon your "single" experiences. Thank you!

Poll #372384 First dates...
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 24

How many first dates do you have, on average?

What do you think about first dates?

Have you ever either completely fallen for someone based upon a first date, or had someone fall for you in that way?

Describe "first dates" in three words

Tags: dating, polls
Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: Conference call that is boring the crap out of me

I've come to some conclusions lately. Well, maybe not conclusions, but more like "conceptions".

I'm going to be 30 years old in less than two months. (I fully realize that many of you are older than 30, so the first person who posts anything about "30 isn't old...you're just a baby!" get baleted from my friends list.) And maybe I'm having a 30 year old crisis, I don't know.

Anyway, I feel really stagnant lately. Some things are going really well - work seems to be going in a great direction. I mean, nothing that I'm truly passionate about, but I seem to have been able to get myself professionally stable for the first time in over two years, which is good. I like the people I work with and it seems to be a good place to be. So that's one good thing.

But everything else seems to be just...eh. I told swingfeline today that I am going into "dating hibernation". I think that I just don't have the motivation to date right now - it seems like so much effort. Possibly it's because I only hang out with couples and one or two other single guys. I realized this when I was giving Backstreet the guest list for my birthday party; almost all of the folks invited are couples. And it made me realize that there are no potentials for meeting anyone in my current social environment. Surprisingly, I'm okay with this.

I think I want a big change in the next year. I am more than halfway considering a relocation. I wouldn't be able to do it for at least a year (because I would only do it if JPMC could transfer me, and they require me to stay in this position for at least a year). But in some ways I feel like I've gotten everything out of Chicago at this point. I feel like making a "starting over" move. It's a scary proposition, which is why the city I'm considering is one where I know tons of people. I don't know. I talked to my mom about this possibility, and she wigged out. Of course, she's having major "empty nest" issues lately, since none of her kids live at home anymore. I was a little surprised that she reacted the way she did; I talk to my mom almost every day (although mostly on email or IM - phone calls are maybe weekly) but I only see my fam maybe once every six weeks or so. I can't see how that would be drastically different if I lived 800 miles away instead of only 20.

One of the things my mom said was "Deb, who is very enamored of Chicago, would probably be looking to move in with you." Of course, Debbie won't be out of college for four years. While I think my sister would be a great roommate (we get along exceptionally well and have a lot in common) if I'm still living alone in this city when I'm 34, I think I'll be pretty sad. I guess it would be better to be 34 and living alone in a new town - I don't know.

It would be hard to give up the cool things I love about Chicago. It would be hard to give up Wrigley Field. It would be hard to give up my awesome neighborhood. It would be exceptionally hard to give up the friends I have made here. But maybe I need to do something hard.

Tags: dating, new york, personal
Current Mood: contemplative

So Fizz Girl came to the poker game last weekend. I felt bad because we never played at the same table, and I was busy being Mr. Hosting Guy. But I guess she had fun. She stayed around for quite a while and played in the side games. And apparently she made friends, because she's going to be joining Troy, Rak, and I dealing at a casino night thing next Monday night. Crazy!

(belcanto88 and Jen are doing it too)

It's okay though...I'm not upset or worried; I just always worry at things like that game when there is someone there who doesn't really know anyone else and I don't have the ability to really shepard them around.

Tags: dating, poker

That the online dating girl (she needs a nickname I think) is no good for me.

I sent her a video link and her reply was: "quicktime? who has quicktime?"

You ARE the weakest link.

Tags: dating
Current Mood: annoyed

So my LJ activities are severely curtailed by the fact that LJ is blocked at B1. But that's okay I suppose.

Updateville...

Nothing too interesting to report. I've been talking to this girl who sent me a message on that dating site...she seems cute enough, and kind of funny, but I don't see anything happening with it. She's a rabid Sox fan (which doesn't bother me, except that she's one of the "Cubs suck" Sox fans, which I just dislike in general), she has cats, and she thinks both Tom Jones and bowling are lame. (They are lame, but they are also fun)

Eh. I'm not going to worry too much about it. I'm just having fun with my friends these days and having a good time. The quest for the Girl Who Doesn't Annoy Mugsy is a lower priority.

Tags: dating

shanabanana is going to laugh, but I think I've figured out my "dealbreaker".

The girl can't annoy me.

I don't know what it is. But it seems that most of the girls I have dated or been on dates with or whatever...after a little while I just get so annoyed and want them to leave me alone.

Granted, I get annoyed with people in general. But I mean like sitting there and fuming and thinking "jesus christ, will you fucking LEAVE already?"

That's not healthy.

There is a short list of people that I spend a lot of time with who don't annoy me like that. The problem is, none of them are possibilities for dating.

On an unrelated note, I am digging this song I'm listening to right now. jensantarelli - have you heard it? I think you'd dig on it hardcore.

Dynamite Hack - Boyz-N-The Hood

Tags: dating
Current Mood: contemplative

Last night was pretty fun at the Fizzle.

Went into my first jam circle (birthday jams don't count). Lippy spun "Sing Sing Sing", and an old-school neo-swing jam busted out. I went into it with Backstreet, and we actually did a fairly decent job of it. Too fun.

Got into a debate with Backstreet about approaching women. There was a girl there who we just met that night, who was somewhat cute and somewhat interesting...he told me I should ask her out. I maintained that doing so would play into the "creepy swing dancer dork" thing (considering we didn't talk all that much, etc). Not quite sure which of us was right.

Tags: dating, swing dancing

So I was talking to a couple friends last night on this subject.

I have never been "set up" in my entire life. Not to say that I *want* to be set up. But I find it interesting, and even a little disappointing, that none of my friends have ever suggested that I be "set up" with one of their friends. However, I have a couple of guy friends that my friends are always "pushing" on their girlfriends.

I have a couple theories on why this might be. One is that the majority of my friends have known me as a single guy - they associate Mugsy with "single guy who doesn't have a girlfriend", so they figure that I'm content with that, and they're more worried about the friends of mine who they associate with being in a relationship. If that makes sense.

Of course, the insecure jackass part of me thinks that it's because the friends they encourage to meet their girlfriends are more attractive and interesting than I am. I was discussing this with a buddy, who pointed out that most of my friends probably just think I'm asexual. I don't know. What's the deal? Please be honest. I won't be offended, and please don't reply to this just to placate my ego. I really want to know the rational behind this phenomenon.

Poll #301382 The Set Up
Open to: Friends, detailed results viewable to: Friends, participants: 8

Would you set me up with a friend of yours?

Tags: dating, polls
Current Mood: curious

I am pretty drunk right now, lemme tell you.

There was a cute girl out tonight I met before, but my Flirt Powers weren't working at full capactiy. C'est la vie. It doesn't matter. i've got someone more important on my mind these days anyway.

Tags: dating, drunk

So I checked out eHarmony at the endorsement/suggestion of several friends.

Went through the extensive personality test, filled out the whole profile.

And this is what it came back with:

At this time, we are not able to identify a match for you.
We require that any match we provide be highly compatible with your values, beliefs and attitudes. This standard means that thousands of eHarmony users are often not matched right away.

You came to eHarmony looking for a lot more than a dating service. You came looking for a healthy and successful romantic relationship, one that has a good chance at longevity. While there may be hundreds of eHarmony singles who might make an interesting dinner date, we are holding out only for those members that truly want what you want, have what you're looking for and are compatible with you on the very deepest and most significant personal levels.

We are optimistic that we'll find the right matches for you and hope you will remain optimistic too. We don't intend to lower our standards and you shouldn't either. We ask for your patience during this process and assure you that the right match will be worth the wait.


Ha! Even the webbernet thinks there's nobody out there for me. Excellent!

Tags: dating

So Carrie made me dinner tonight.

For those of you playing at home, Carrie is the girl I met at Louis's birthday party about a month ago. She's the girl who calls me every day, and we've gone out a bunch of times, but I have been being kind of dumb about.

Anyway, tonight was a really spectacular date. She made vegetarian lasagna (so as to avoid the pork issue) and Rice Krispy Treats for dessert (she's a 2nd grade teacher; it's pretty funny). We watched some goofy TV (since going out with Carrie, I've seen more "Road Rules" and reality TV than I have in my entire life). I met her other roommate, and bullshit with the roommate I'd already met.

Other things developed, which are nice. She's coming to the Micetro on Saturday, as well as Saturday night's dance at Wrigley. Amusingly enough, she suggested that we set Backstreet up with her roommate, which I'd already considered. I don't know if he'd be interested, but I told her to bring her roommate to the Beeyachski band's gig next week. Who knows what might happen.

I feel good about this, I think.

Tags: carrie, dating
Current Mood: hopeful

I think it went really well...we sat and talked at the bar for a couple hours...we really don't have much in common, but we got along really well, I think. Which is neat, but weird.

I dropped her off and we had a nice little sweet kiss. She told me to call her when I got back from camping this weekend.

Honestly, it was kind of nice.

I'm off for a weekend of camping! I won't be back until Sunday. Y'all behave while I'm gone, okay?

Tags: carrie, dating

Shana: you can't judge her by your standards
Shana: you are clearly screwed up

Tags: carrie, dating, real world

So LustGirl called me about half an hour ago...apparently her class was at recess and she called to say "hi" and ask about the game last night.

Tags: carrie, dating

So I just got off the phone with LustGirl...we talked for a long time. She seems very nice...and we're going to try to get together next week (since I'm booked up Tuesday and Wed with the Cubs games, and I'm going camping this weekend.)

She's a 2nd grade teacher in a pretty sketchy area...sounds intense, but she loves it. I'm interested to see where this goes.

Tags: carrie, dating

So I just got home from the 7 Sins party.

It was for a friend's birthday. A really great time; he had a magician and a burlesque troupe (who were GREAT!)

We also had the SIN TO WIN contest...different contests for each sin.

I got the phone number of the girl who wone the "lust" contest. I'm not sure what to do about that; at about 2:30 this morning at the bar, when I was leaving she said "you're not leaving, are you?" and then "Well, call me sometime, we'll hang out!" and gave me her number. She then kissed me goodbye and said "you're for sure going to call me, right?"

She was plastered though. I bet if I do call her she'll be regretting it.

Tags: carrie, dating

Someone asked me, "When betting, do you bet based upon what you have now, or what you might end up with?" And I said "Well, you have to figure the probability of getting what you're trying to get. And weigh that risk against the potential gain."

It's actually more applicable than I had thought.

What you do is look at the risk. And if the risk outweighs the potential gain, then it's not a good bet

It's not about only doing what is probable. You can take longer odds if the risk to gain ratio is right.

For example...if the odds of you drawing the winning hand are 1 in 100, and the pot is only fifty bucks, and it will cost you ten bucks to stay in...then you should fold/

To put that in relationship parlance...if there's someone you think is kind of cute and interesting, but the odds of it working out are really low, and if it did work out, it would be kind of "eh", and it is going to require a lot of effort to make happen...you fold.

But let's say there's someone you totally dig and you think they might like you. You aren't sure, but if they DID like you, you know it could really be something big and great, and all you have to risk is just asking them out...then man, you go in on that pot!

Tags: dating, poker

Went on a date last night with a girl from the online personal jackamoo thing.

It was one of the dullest dates I've been on in recent memory. Not saying she was a horrible person or whatever...but man, there was NO spark there. I might have been a little distracted, but still...just nothing. Nada. Zippo.

I've gotten responses from two other girls that seem more intriguing...I wrote back to them, but neither has replied to my reply yet. Hmph.

Tags: dating

Poll #176870 Ego-bruising...
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 13

Would you date this man?

( Click here for Nerve profile )

Tags: dating, polls